“it’ll all be done by Christmas” …

As I might have mentioned we are still edging ever near to the end of our ongoing “it’ll all be done by Christmas” building project.  Back in December  work started on moving the kitchen from one side of the house to the other, having forgotten a new cooker hood would be required, we set to work finding one it needed to be 110cm long and black.  I’m sure you’ll agree, it’s difficult to get that excited about choosing a metal box that sucks up steam and cooking smells.

Within minutes we’d ordered one that looked a bit like a stove pipe hat, from a reputable online store.   It promptly arrived a few days later, annoyingly the electric wire supplied was faulty, but we found a spare kettle lead and the installation continued, it then became apparent that due to a slight bulge on the main body of the hood (stay with me) the chimney part could not be slotted into its given groove.

I reported back to the purveyor, who required answers lots of intensely detailed questions.  In the end, fed up of the tooing and froing, we made a film starring builder Will who explained and pointed to where the problematic bulge was, the sound was good and I made an effort to get the lighting just right.  It worked, and a replacement cooker hood was delivered… unfortunately with exactly the same defect.

Despite reassuring me that the serial number of the 3rd cooker-hood-of-man, being sent out was not of the same batch as the previous two, when it arrived this sadly proved not to be the case – the battle of the bulge continued.

An engineer was dispatched to fix and fit the flipping thing.  He took one look at the offending item and said it was un-fittable due to a bulge stopping the chimey part to find it’s groove.

Just think for 44 years, I’d been merrily oblivious to this tumultuous world of all things cooker hood!  Come on then, fourth time lucky – we ordered an entirely different model from a different company, it turned up last week having taken 4 weeks to arrive.  It’s beautiful, shiny and black, just the right length, lovely chrome buttons, the electrics are all in place, which is more than can be said for the 2 fixing brackets and bolts, black self tapping screws and instruction pack.  Here we go again.