‘A Plasterer in Paris’…

It’s a big day today for our ongoing, “it’ll all be done by Christmas” building project.  For months we’ve heard lists of things that can or can’t be done before or after the screeders.  I have pictured the screeders as being like magical characters from a Harry Potter book, ancient and bit worldy wise.

In reality this is not a completely accurate description, although our chief screeder looks just like Robin Williams as Mork (of Mork and Mindy fame) and he was pretty mystical.  Screeders get up super early the knock-on effect of this being us having to get up even earlier (like the day before!) to make sure the kettle is on.

Screeders, like plasterers are very bendy, I feel they would be naturally good at yoga.  I think some amazing choreographer like Matthew Bourne should write a contemporary ballet featuring these guys it could be called ‘A Plasterer in Paris’ or ‘Screeding in the Rain.’ I have found myself utterly mesmerised by the skill of these chaps and their ability to make large expanses of rough uneven wall or floor become smooth like marble and all so effortlessly.

As an added bonus we discovered our other screeder likes to sing and treated us all to a rendition of Elton John and Kiki Dee’s hit ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart’ covering both parts which isn’t easy to do.  The less glamorous side of screeding involves other people filling endless wheelbarrows of heavy wet brown cement-y stuff and dumping it around the room.  They had this very whizzy self levelling laser machine which shone a bright red light all round the edge of the room.  I quite fancy buying one but realistically I don’t think I’ll get much ware out of one.

Most of our day has been spent keeping Alan the dog away from the wet screed, building walls of defence using whatever comes to hand 3 bags of cement and a watering can.  It’s like a red rag to a bull he has thus far managed to find a way of leaving a set of paw prints on every wet surface available, although he excelled himself running through a channel of fresh concrete in the kitchen not once but twice, the funniest thing being builder Rich trying to catch him and ending up ankle deep in concrete too.  I shouldn’t speak too soon but currently Screeders 1 – Alan 0.